chaandki | this wasn't supposed to be a thing

do you ever just see bullying discourse in another fandom, stan the bullied kid out of spite bc you were bullied too, and then somehow end up endeared by the whole group despite their well known flaws?

i know what everyone is thinking....a new enha enjoyer??? in the year of our lord 2022????? after like 5 bullying scandals????? listen....me too babes. me too. i've been hearing it from my friends all month. i don't know how i ended up here but i have a lot of thoughts and no one to talk to about it (understandably so). i would like to put it out there that i don't consider myself a stan or an engene or whatever im just....unironically enjoying their music and some interactions. im chalking it up to bang pd being annoyingly good at making music. if their music wasn't this good i wouldn't be in this situation. fuck u bang pd.

just a fair warning this is long. also i haven't had to use html in like five years so sorry if this is rough.
edit: just another disclaimer i have only watched like....6 video contents for them. most of what i know is based off of primers/yt compilations/tiktok videos/twt threads. ive never watched a vlive (i hate the platform) or most en-oclock/enhypen&hi. i may remake this in a couple of months if i start consuming more of their content.

what i knew before

basically nothing. i didn't watch i-land bc

i hate survival shows
i was deep in my nctzen era and wayv was starting to get employed (lol from the future)
i just didn't care about stanning a new group
im like a little too old for the enha target audience
i was depressed most of 2020 (unemployed, in a graduate program and *gestures wildly* living in nyc during yk)

the only things i knew about i-land were that there was a figure skater, an american kid named daniel, and a japanese duo (an older kid and a pretty young one) that everyone wanted to debut together (not gonna lie i still don't know who they are). i did watch the performances from the first episode since there were a bunch of nct covers but none of them got me hooked on the show. here are tweets from when i watched them. kinda interesting to look back at.

so hearing about all these scandals i didn't know who they involved. i actually don't even think i knew any of their names until recently

song ranking
ok can i say im previewing this as i'm writing it and the cuts are not appearing so this is annoying and i'm sorry if you're faced with a wall of text.

pre-enjoyment era
i'm the type of person who watches all the stages for award shows even if i don't actively like a group so i have heard all the songs they promoted. this is my ranking from before basically a month ago. pass the mic is not included since it was released pretty recently and i didnt form an opinion before learning more about them.

drunk-dazed
given-taken
tamed-dashed
blessed-cursed

i don't think i heard any of their b-sides except maybe fever? i def didnt watch any stages though so i dont have a b-side ranking. i also listened to into the i-land or whatever the theme was once and then decided it was too emotional for me so that's not ranked either.

enjoyment era

tamed-dashed (an unhealthy amount)
drunk-dazed=given-taken
blessed-cursed (sorry i totally skip this one)

pass the mic would be after drunk-dazed/given-taken but for consistency i left it out.

looking at my list now it's interesting how tamed-dashed jumped up but the rest of the rankings more of less stayed the same. i think it's a combination of the kelly clarkson performance, the choreo (heeseungs killing part), and the style change from dd/gt.

and just for fun here's are my favorite b-sides as of now (kinda ranked but not rlly)

blockbuster (yeonjun is a star what else can i say)
one in a billion
fever
foreshadow

member ranking
WARNING haterisms under the cut. if you genuinely enjoy all of enha maybe skip this section unless you're ok seeing rough opinions about them.

should this post be locked and rot13 instead of under a cut? yes. have i also been on the internet and stan twt long enough that i don't care anymore? also yes. god speed to me.

before i get into this i would like the audience to know i am a sunoo stan before anything else. sunoo got me here and i'm staying for sunoo. basically my ranking is based on how (i perceive) they treat sunoo. call me a solo, baragi, fake fan, whatever. sunoo is a star.

SUNOO 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 pretty boys who are good at what they do and are also fruity but like don't give a shit and just live out being fruity without overdoing it for the sake of content or holding it back for the idolsona are just 🍑 🤍 🍑 🤍 🍑 🤍 🍑 🤍 🍑 🤍 🍑 🤍 he's soooooo baby like during all the iland clips i watched i was just 😭😭😭😭😭 bc sunoo is just SOOO good and talented and cute and pretty and straight boys don't know how to appreciate art. also i feel like he might be one of the most well adjusted idols in enha. the rest of them trained for a while or were rich but sunoo was like a normal kid
subway turnstile (it's basically wall but you could and should always jump it. fuck the mta)
jungwon- he's just here bc i dont have anything bad to say about him. he's really talented and after sunoo my favorite vocal. his timbre is sooo interesting and scratches my brain. also i subscribe to the yang jungwon kittyism. i fucking love cats. he's also just so cute and boba eyed. i have thoughts about him as leader but theyre not bad just general thoughts surrounding it.
wall
jay- ok so technically heeseung should be here instead bc of jays crimes against sunoo but i got super stoned one night and ended up liking (i kid you not) 50 thirst edits of him so now he has a place in my heart. you can thank enhyvfsx on tiktok for that. i don't know what it is. i don't find him attractive sober but somehow the stoned part of my brain does. don't talk to me about him it's embarrassing (i have a whole post drafted about how he's my guilty pleasure idol). sober thoughts about him is that he's classically handsome which is his selling point. tbh i think he's an average vocalist and dancer. i think he's on the lower end of stage presence but he's def improving (he looked so bored sometimes during fever stages). i'm a lil annoyed theyre pushing him into the rapper role bc of his outward manliness. just let him sing. also jaywon is kinda cute.
heeseung- this is jays spot but we all know what happened w that. sometimes hs seems annoyed or peeved at sunoo but he did care for him a lot post i-land so im thinking it's playful annoyance (it better be). also his stage presence is out of this world. i know why jungwon ranked first but heeseung is really incredible.
jake- im gonna be honest he's just a dude. like. he's a dude who saw the bbmas in 2017, decided to become an idol, and was attractive and hard working enough to make it. yeah not much else to say. he's a dude. uses aave despite going to a catholic school in aus. probably bummed a light off a girl in itaewon (iconic tbh).
niki- he's ranked higher than sunghoon bc he's 16, has been working since he was a kid, and has lived away from his parents in a country where he doesnt speak the language for years. he's ranked this low bc despite being 16 and all of the above he's still a lil shit. listen my nephews are '06 and '07 and they realize when a joke is too far. i hope niki matures a bit now that's he has settled into a group and has more consistency in his life. the dreamies were able to do it so i have faith in him. still doesn't excuse him from being a little shit. teenage boys suck. also sag men suck. he's a really good dancer so ill give him that.
sunghoon- ok so i don't like....actively hate him. he's just a pos in a way that happens when you've been an athlete before youve lost all your milk teeth and had to be health conscious before you even knew about self consciousness. again doesn't excuse the way he treats sunoo esp at his big age. pretty boy athletes who dont know anything other than being attractive and an athlete are walking red flags AND he's also a sag man. just....all around not a great combo of traits. apparently he's better now but who knows. you can become a better person but the person you hurt will always have those scars even if theyve healed. sunoo get behind me. hes a good dancer too- surprised he was able to pick up on hip-hop despite being a figure skater. i love seeing him dance contemporary though- they need him to do that more.

rps but not really just pairings i like. this is mostly sunoo centric
i engage and tinhat rps a lot but it kinda seems illegal to be as involved for enha bc theyre so young. i have read fics for them but sunoo got the unfortunate fate of being assigned the ao3 pretty subby omega bottom who gets dicked down by everyone and i got over that type of shit in 2017 with bts jimin. also he like...just became an adult in korea and there are WAY too many explicit fics to match that timeline. so this is basically pairings ive enjoyed watching and reading Gen/T rated fics. it's not ranked and not all the ships are here.

sunwon- i know this one is unpopular. i actually dont like them as a rps ship but their friendship is just so sweet and real it's refreshing. you can tell when kpop idols are friends because of the company pushing them or bc they had some sort of traumatic training experience and grew close bc of that. but for sunwon you can tell they became friends simply bc of age proximity and being added to the same group BUT the difference is that they became like...real friends. not like...im friends with you bc of the group but like...going beyond the group meta friends. like if sunwon weren't idols they would have met by being random roommates freshman year (we're ignoring the age difference) and then just meshing so well they end up being friends for life without a weird co-dependency. theyre just comfortable with each other and can orbit each other without being involved. it's so real and healthy. kpop is fake and scripted and stained by consumerism but sunwon are just such a real friendship, guys being dudes. pals who went to school together and now live together.
sunsun- ok listen.....i know what youre thinking....sunoo is your number one and sunghoon is not bc of how he treated sunoo...but hear me out. ive been in fandom since like....2007ish....i grew up on bad enemies to lovers fics. there's just something about the sunshine and the newly realized sunshine protector that gets me. this is all rps btw. their irl interactions are cute but sometimes you can tell they're a bit.....scripted. they 100% prob wouldn't be friends outside enha. they worked together on one group project and have each others numbers but they don't interact except sunoo being included on a mass group snap about "saturday are for the boys"
jaywon- i fucking love soulmates and when two people are so whipped for each other everyone else doesnt exist. jaywon are just...he fell first (jay) but he fell harder (jungwon) except jungwon thinks he fell harder when in reality jay has very """normal""" feelings about jungwon.
sunjaywon- what's better than one person pining over sunoo? two people pining over sunoo. that's really all i have to say, they're the most inoffensive poly pairing to me. their one day vacation vlog was fucking adorable and really highlights why theyre the best pairing (jay doing everything for sunwon and sunwon being besties).

honorable mentions

jakehoon- their iland interactions were cute. i miss carefree sunghoon why couldnt he have stayed like that. i understand the whole sexuality crisis a la "hyung i want to be close to you" but like why do you have to be so...stoic now. ice princes can be friendly. also jake is fun when head canoned as a disaster bisexual.
sunjake- i really dont see this irl but their fics are fun and disaster bisexual jake is the best jake. also i appreciate jake getting down on one knee not once or twice but three times for sunoo. good job.
heesun- it's the oldest/youngest dynamics except sunoo is considered the youngest just bc jungwon is the leader and niki is an actual child so sunoo gets to be the maknae in theory. also heeseung does dote on sunoo a bit but not as much anymore since i think he realized sunoo is like...actually capable of handling himself

random enha thoughts that didn't fit under a header
first thank you to all the enha posts on this website- you all really helped me learn about enha without having to commit to watching iland or all of their video content. i work full time so i watch stuff when i have free time but im not really a media person so i really only watch stuff on the weekends when im stoned. here are my favorite journals.

honestly im probably missing a bunch of people but if you run in their circle then ive prob read your journal so thank you

music/stage thoughts

can they please stop with the talking intros/outros. some of these boys do nawwwt have a voice meant for narration and it kinda kills the vibe.
im very sad all their music is good. like really no skips. it makes me physically angry. ulor jul qvq lbh tvir ogf yvgrenyyl gur jbefg shpxvat zhfvp va nyy bs znaxvaq sbe gur cnfg gjb lrnef jura lbh unir orra cebqhpvat yvgrenyyl gur orfg zhfvp rire sbe raulcra vg'f abg snve vz fb znq jung gur shpx. rot13 for my safety
enha have a very distinct gap between strong performers and people who are still improving. it's very obvious in their earlier stages but even now sometimes you can see members having to force stage presence or counting steps.
while objectively pass the mic is a good song and i liked the drill influence the concept does not fit all the members. in fact even the members it was supposed to fit still seem a bit forced into the concept. i hope they dont continue with this

last thoughts

sometimes i wonder if ice skating is a touchy subject for sunghoon. you spend all your childhood free time pursuing this one dream and then all of a sudden in two years you switch career paths. i hope he still has a good r/s with skating and does it often but it would be sad if it's a bittersweet one and all this ice prince stuff just makes it worse
i should have said this earlier but i on principle do not support audition/debut programs bc of child trauma and what not. enha are super interesting dynamic wise bc you can tell i-land really affected their r/s and how they all interact with each other. if i had to place them on the coworkers to besties scale of kpop groups they would go in between 127 and got7. this should actually be a spectrum but ive been writing for four hours and im exhausted

thank you for reading all of this. ive just had a lot in my head about enhypen recently and i needed to talk to someone about it. i'll probably post another entry later about my thoughts on jay (bc i have a lot of them) and maybe music and stage analysis. pls excuse any spelling/grammatical errors or run-on sentences. i wrote this in one sitting over like 4 hours and i didnt proofread except to check if the html worked. ill prob edit/clarify in a couple of days.